I wish

I wish this look was more fashionable. Judge me if you must, but I have always been fond of Mod girls. A lot of these are over the top, but then that is sort of the point.


http://digilander.libero.it/guido_1953/pics/miniskirts/miniskirts-girls.htm


If I had more money I would be markedly more Mod-ish. Time to watch Quadrophenia again.


Recently found out that these guys shared a manager with The Stones. Love The Small Faces. Hell of a song.




They're looking SOOOO sharp here. It's a shame that they're so famous for Tommy, they sucked by then...

le sigh

It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes strength to be gentle and kind

Conviction is such a blessing. I'm grateful, without it I would just keep being evil. Every good thing in me is there because Jesus put it there.

Sing Your Life

Ah, that itch to write. Bring my blog, I feel to scratch it.

Now I've started, but now what? Its been so long. A lifetime of experiences have come and gone in the time between blogging. I'm still not used to that word, and I hope that I never am. "Blog". Nope, I still hate it.


I guess a brief chronicle of my summer so far might be useful to my future self. Turns out my memory is horrible so these things are really nice

First: I quit my job sometime in the middle of June. I gave my two week notice and everything. I could go deeper but that job is one thing I wouldn't mind forgetting.

3 or 4 days after I was done there, I flew to Chicago (Geneva/St. Charles to be precise) for my Cousin Lila's wedding. *This is painful to write, it feels like a school project. I will persevere.* My uncle Morley was really lit up (he's bipolar you see). He believed he had been struck by lightning and that it had activated his entire consciousness. Really its just that his oldest daughter was getting married and it triggered a serious manic episode. It was really fun and funny at first as it always is. Luckily I stayed away for much of the fallout afterward. He ended up being arrested and hospitalized. He was fine after 3 weeks, which is great for him. The last time he was this high he lived in a wigwam for 6 months (no, really). Well I stayed there for about a week because I missed my flight back to Little Rock. I drove back down with my alcoholic aunt and my brother, who was feverish at the time. I drove straight there in something like 12 hours.

I stayed in Arkansas for about a month. Not much to tell, I watched a lot of TV and ate like a king. My grandpa bought me this old 1990 Dodge ram 15 passenger van for $800. I love it. On my last night in Little Rock I had the Honeycutters play at my house, it was a smashing success. I drove all the way from Little Rock to Seattle by myself. Along the way I broke down in Twin Falls and stayed with the Thompsons in Boise for two days.

Now I'm back in Seattle. Its so mild here, I really like it. Today its raining. I'm feeling a little blue. Not much to look forward to. Disconnected from some of the people I care about. Disappointed in some others. Angry at my lazy self. Pretty normal stuff.

Oh yeah, day before yesterday I went to the Seattle Art Museum and saw their Andy Warhol exhibit. It inspired me. Especially the 16mm screen tests they were showing. There was one especially, this girl Anne Buchanon. Over the course of 2-3 minutes her eyes welled up and big tears rolled down her face. She was very pretty, her hair was the best part. She kept the same impassive expression throughout though, thats the remarkable thing. I keep wondering what it was that made her cry. Or maybe she was just showcasing her ability to cry on command? I'll probably never know, but I hope I can remember her face.

I have to go

Writing on my blog, being hip.

I'm not sure what the word "hipster" means. Lots of people sure do though. The only kind of personal titles I'm interested in are the ones people give themselves.

I guess this is all to say that any form of hipster stereotyping (which is really hype right now) really irritates me, because its either making fun of something super obvious and which is not really funny, or it is its own form of elitism, which is self defeating (in the enterprise of making fun of elitists). The "hipster" and the critic are both operating on different paradigms, each seeing their own approach to life as normative. For you philosophy people I am mostly referring here to Thomas Kuhn's seminal work The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Anyway, these dialogs are sort of like high school all over again, and one trip through that was enough for me.

And like the man says... "It doesn't matter what you call yourself, its how you carry yourself". I suppose by extension it doesn't matter what you call someone else, its how they carry themselves.

I'm back

California was so perfect, I wish I were still there, sleeping on our boat and hanging out with my family. I was there for four days this weekend, my sister got married and I was a groomsman.

I love my sister Emily so much, and the raw emotion on her face was overwhelming to watch during the ceremony. I could feel waves of sobs being choked back in the congregation behind me all service. I'm not saying I could hear them, because they were being choked back of course. I could feel them though. You understand.

She really has what she always has wanted, and to see her so happy makes me unspeakably pleased and grateful. Some people suffer, some people prosper. I won't pretend that I understand it or that I'm not endlessly troubled by it, but when God is so good to my family time and time again all I can feel is gratitude. We've really come a long way, and no one really understands the extent of it but us seven people.

I'd like to write more now, but I just worked all night and I have to work again tonight. I hate my job, must quit it.

Just wasted most of the day to go mix in northgate, we didn't get much done at all. Phil said we'd be done after a half day, now he wants to start all over on 4 out of 5 songs. The bus is not as charming as it was before I started using it everyday. This mix failure made me kind of down on doing the band, this recording seems like it will never end.

Pretty depressed. Don't have much to look forward to. "Another Day Of Nothing".

When I got back home, my roommates band was practicing. They are so horrible, the kind of horrible that makes you feel embarrassed for them. That's just at first though, then you get really mad that it won't stop. You fantasize about throwing water balloons downstairs on them, and telling them off. You could say "you're the worst band I've ever heard", but how can you even quantify such a thing? It probably wouldn't be true. You could tell them that they are in a "metal" band and yet they have never listened Slayer, but they wouldn't hear your meek voice over the PBR belches. You wish the neighbors would call the cops. Its really pathetic being this passive.

My 3 day break is over, Taylor is driving me to work tonight, he really is a good friend to me.

I think of the song "Suzanne" a lot. I need to tell this girl that shes wasting her time on me, that I "have no love to give her". But maybe she'll get me on her wavelength once I do. Its a funny thought. I really can't feel anything for any girl, there's something busted inside me. Sure I find different ones attractive, I'm still alive after all. I enjoy being wanted, and telling myself I want something. But once it starts getting deep, I can't go any farther. I'm not really sure what my deal is. I don't know if I really want anything.

I really like being encouraging, I don't want to bring anyone down. Its a good thing only a handful of people ever see stuff like this then. Sometimes in life I just have to close my eyes and hold on and wait for things to get better. They always do, but its hard to believe it all the time.