I spent the summer wasting, the hours passed so pleasantly

***Edit: fixed the link below***
I'm reading Jesus' Son by Denis Johnson, 2/3 done right now, gonna try to kill it off before I sleep. I have heard about this book for a long time but it wasn't at the top of my list, I kept forgetting about it completely only later to catch a reference or hear some glowing review... For some reason it came into my head the other day at the bookstore so i bought it right away before my brain moved on. All I can say is that it's the best book I've read in a long time, instantly at the top of my favorite's list.

I leave for Seattle in 3 days, I'm not ready to go back. Ever since I left Arkansas when I was 13 I have felt really out of place, not sure of what my cultural identity should be. I think thats why I got so into Punk, but that's another story. Anyway, I don't feel like a poser saying this anymore; I'm southern damn it. I don't want to leave yet, its too good here. I really believe locations have distinctive vibrations or feelings that they give off. Seattle resonates at a B and I at an A minor, and I might harmonize with it but its not playing my note, its not singing my song. I can't explain what it does to me to walk around in the sweltering heat of the day or when I sit in the backyard while the sun goes down and listen to the cicadas and frogs and crickets. Especially the cicadas. The outside world here moves so slow, especially when compared to the west coast. When the world outside me gets smaller and slower then the world inside me speeds up and grows. I've been writing a lot more music lately, it's all incomplete and will most likely be scrapped or salvaged into something different later, but its really fun.

Still I'm kind excited to go to Seattle, I miss my friends and to tell the truth I am a little bit bored here. I can't wait to record again. These songs we have are really good, I want for us to document them as well as we can and then see what everyone thinks. some old songs can be found at ** Fixed the link http//:www.myspace.com/aleafmusic ** I like the 1st 3.

Sweet down to the rhine

I slept from 10:30pm til 8:30am last night. No that was not a typo. I'm feeling really good here in Arkansas, that was the first night of Godly sleep I've had in years and years. This morning my mom made me my favorite tea (Barry's irish), I ate the greatest watermellon of my life while I waited. The day stretches out in front of me, what's next?

My sister got married yesterday. Her wedding was the best I've ever been to; very southern, everything was done right. I was an usher and a reader, I read 1John 4:7-16 during the ceremonyd I was really nervous about having a role in the wedding but it was pretty insignificant in the big picture and I know it made Margaret happy so I'm glad I was able to.

After the ceremony we had the most killer reception ever at the Little Rock country club. The food was amazing, I picked the wrong week to try and be vegitarian, or at least veg friendly, because I difinitely ate like 14 pieces of chicken wrapped in bacon. We had a really great band and everyone danced like maniacs. Our party seriously had to be kicked out by the band, they had no more songs to play and it was well after midnight. After the party was the afterparty for family, we reconvened at the Landfair estate. We all hung out, talked, drank (well not me, everyone else) for a while, so sweet. I wrestled with my little cuz Konrad, made people spill drinks, made the dog lick it up, great time. After a while we all sat in the living room and had a sort of family concert. My dad played some old country standards like "cotton fields back home" and "you get a line and I'll get a pole" I played Elliott Smith songs, and Beatles and James Taylor songs, and everyone sang along to the choruses, it was hilarious and awesome, so much love happening.

After that I stayed up with various cousins and friends til 7 watching metalocalypse and bro-ing down hard.

A side note, I love my cousins so much. If you have never been around my family you just can't understand, we rule so hard. I'm not trying to boast, I'm just trying to explain it. They are my favorite people in the world, as are my aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. Of course my immediate family is the most dear to me, but the cousins are all such amazing people and I don't see them enough, I hate it. I really have to move back here, it's just home. I love everything about Little Rock, but mostly I love the fact that my family is so nearby. If I could get a good job and start a family here, I think I would be really happy.

This wedding was really emotional for me, and beyond that it really gave me a strong sense of God's sovreingty in my family's life. Everything that has happened up to this point had to happen in order for last night to happen, and last night was just perfect, one of the best times ive had. Supper is ready, gotta go.