Just wasted most of the day to go mix in northgate, we didn't get much done at all. Phil said we'd be done after a half day, now he wants to start all over on 4 out of 5 songs. The bus is not as charming as it was before I started using it everyday. This mix failure made me kind of down on doing the band, this recording seems like it will never end.

Pretty depressed. Don't have much to look forward to. "Another Day Of Nothing".

When I got back home, my roommates band was practicing. They are so horrible, the kind of horrible that makes you feel embarrassed for them. That's just at first though, then you get really mad that it won't stop. You fantasize about throwing water balloons downstairs on them, and telling them off. You could say "you're the worst band I've ever heard", but how can you even quantify such a thing? It probably wouldn't be true. You could tell them that they are in a "metal" band and yet they have never listened Slayer, but they wouldn't hear your meek voice over the PBR belches. You wish the neighbors would call the cops. Its really pathetic being this passive.

My 3 day break is over, Taylor is driving me to work tonight, he really is a good friend to me.

I think of the song "Suzanne" a lot. I need to tell this girl that shes wasting her time on me, that I "have no love to give her". But maybe she'll get me on her wavelength once I do. Its a funny thought. I really can't feel anything for any girl, there's something busted inside me. Sure I find different ones attractive, I'm still alive after all. I enjoy being wanted, and telling myself I want something. But once it starts getting deep, I can't go any farther. I'm not really sure what my deal is. I don't know if I really want anything.

I really like being encouraging, I don't want to bring anyone down. Its a good thing only a handful of people ever see stuff like this then. Sometimes in life I just have to close my eyes and hold on and wait for things to get better. They always do, but its hard to believe it all the time.